Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary
by Underwhelmed
Summary: Bumlets finds a beautiful young lady named Mary Sue in an alley. But that couldn't possibly have anything to do with the sudden wave of newsboy deaths, could it? [Cowriten by studentnumber24601 and TheSecondBatgirl. Contains mockery and slash.]
1. Chapter 1

_Mistress Mary, quite contrary  
How does your garden grow?  
With silver bells and cockle shells  
And pretty boys all in a row…  
_-Traditional. Sort of.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Bumlets wasn't entirely sure what had drawn him out of the lodging house on this particular night, but something was calling to him, and he'd gone out to see what it was. The sky had been overcast when he'd left, but now it had progressed into a full-fledged storm. The rain was pouring down, and he had given up on trying to figure out what had driven him from the lodging house in the first place, and was now just concentrating on getting home.

Thunder crashed around him, and he let out a short yell, startled. Lightning flashed in the sky, one streak actually hitting a building, which burst into flame. Then there was more thunder, louder and closer... But behind it was something else. A scream.

Bumlets pushed his water logged hair from his eyes and tried to follow the sound. It was hard to do, as the thunder kept echoing, louder and louder. He felt as though he was dodging lightning strikes, but he didn't regret being outside. He knew something had called him out of the lodging house, and he knew it had to do with the mysterious scream in the middle of the storm.

Bumlets turned around, trying to figure out from which direction the scream had come. He'd been positive that he was the only one who was out in this weather. The streets had been mysteriously quiet before.

And there, illuminated by the light of the fire, lay a girl. She lay facedown, her long locks flowing down her back, artfully arranged even though she seemed to have been the victim of some foul play.

Bumlets gasped and knelt next to her. He shook her shoulder and she didn't respond. Moving with desperation, he rolled her limp body over and got a better look at her.

She was _beautiful_.

The girl had flowing hair the color of the sun, which shone red from the reflection of the fire. Her eyes were closed, and her features were delicate and almost elfin: a small, sharp nose, and perfect, kissable lips. Her dress was in tatters, but even so Bumlets could see how fine it had once been. It was mud-soaked and ripped and, he realized while looking closer, bloody. That was the only thing which marred the girl's beauty: a series of bruises and bloody cuts up her neck and face. But even so, she was the loveliest creature he had ever seen.

Bumlets knew that no matter what, he could allow such a delicate creature to languish out on the streets. He had to take her back to the lodging house with him, where he could protect her. The streets were no place for a fair maiden; already the dirt was clinging to her dress and arms, although it did nothing to mar her beauty. The dirt only served to make her even more beautiful, for it contrasted greatly with her features.

Cradling the precious bundle in his arms, and treating her with all of the respect that she deserved, he carefully arranged her dress over his arms so that it would no longer trail in the mud, and began to walk toward the lodging house.

Bumlets arrived back at the lodging house, soaking wet but feeling triumphant. He let himself in and the boys in the front room all fell silent as he stepped inside. Kloppman hurried forward to examine his precious cargo.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Bumlets breathed. "I found her like this, in an alley... I don't know what happened to her."

"She needs a doctor," Kloppman said. "I'll take care of her. Bring her up to our spare bedroom, where she can have some privacy."

Bumlets nodded sincerely and did as he suggested.

* * *

Racetrack wasn't entirely sure what they were making the fuss over. Bumlets was holding the girl as if she was made out of glass and everyone was _cooing_ over her as if she was a princess. Not to mention, why on earth had he even brought the girl here anyway? 

"Hey, Koppman," he called. "Since when are you a doctor?"

Kloppman looked over at him, blinked, shrugged, and walked upstairs. Racetrack frowned and looked around for someone else who thought this was a little strange. But basically everyone else seemed to be transfixed by the girl's appearance, so he finally settled for Blink, who was sitting closest to him.

"Blink?" he asked, "Since when do we got a private room upstairs? And didn't Kloppman always say that girls ain't never allowed in here?"

Blink looked confused, which was more or less his usual facial expression. After a moment, he finally answered, "I didn't think that we did. But Kloppman says we have one, and I guess since she's hurt..."

"There are girls' lodging houses," Racetrack pointed out.

Blink shrugged. "I don't know, but everyone seems happy that she's here. I don't get it."

Race shrugged. "I guess it's not a _problem_ to have a girl around... just seems a little weird."

"Yeah..." Blink said. "Girls are all pretty much weird anyways. I don't understand 'em at all."

"I know," Race said. "You couldn't get a girl if you tried. Not that I seen you try very often or nothin'..." He trailed off, as Kloppman and Bumlets came back down the stairs.

Kloppman held up his hand to quiet the voices of the newsies who had immediately started to loudly inquire about the girl.

"Be quiet," he said harshly, "or you'll wake her up. She's resting now, and I don't want you to disturb her."

"Yeah," Bumlets piped up. "She's been through enough, what with her abusive father and all."

"Abusive father?" Mush echoed, sounding surprised. "What did he do?"

Bumlets shook his head. "She didn't say. She started to, but it was too terrible. She passed out again."

"What's her _name_?" Jack called.

There was a pause, then Kloppman said sincerely, "Gwynnifyr Contessa Angelicque Dorchester. But most people call her Mary Sue, Mary for short."

Racetrack couldn't help it; he started laughing at that name. "Is that how he was abusive, Kloppman? Because he gave her a name as stupid as that?"

"Shut up!" someone called, and Jack whacked Racetrack on the head.

"You should be nicer," Kloppman admonished him. "Mary is our guest, and you should treat her with the same sort of respect that you would... give a princess."

"Why, is she rich?" Blink asked.

Jack kicked him. "Blink, show a little respect, the girl has been _hurt_. For all we know, she is a princess."

"For all we know, she's a hag," Race muttered.

"Excuse me!"

"What? I didn't say anything." Racetrack coughed loudly. "Just coughing, that's all... Blink... Let's go take a walk. So we can talk outside. Where we won't disturb Her Highness."

Racetrack grabbed Blink's arm, and forcibly dragged him outside. Lighting a cigarette, he took a long drag, and then finally turned to Blink.

"I've never seen them fussing over a girl like that," he said finally. "Jack, yeah, but even Kloppman's gone all crazy."

Blink grabbed Race's cigarette. "I dunno," he said with a shrug. "Girls do weird things to them, I guess."

"Yeah, but they make them think we have an extra room in the house?"

"Well... they musta put her _somewhere_. Maybe we do got an extra room? I mean, one couldn't a' just appeared outta nowhere to make her life easier. _That_ would be _crazy_."

"Her _name_ is crazy. Blink, there's something going on. You noticed it ain't raining no more?"

Blink looked around. "Hey, it ain't," he agreed.

"And there ain't no puddles nowhere, and it ain't humid or nothin'. Like it was never rainin'. What's goin' on, huh?"

Blink stared around. "You know... I got no idea, but I'm starting to get a little scared."

* * *

When he woke up the next morning, Racetrack was definitely willing to agree with Blink that this _girl_ was terrifying. Mary, or whatever her name was, had woken up, and was holding court in her room, which Racetrack was now _positive_ hadn't existed before the previous night. 

And the way the other newsies were acting was even worse. They were literally fawning over her. "Oh, Mary, are you comfortable enough?" "Mary, can I get you anything?"

Racetrack felt ill just watching them.

It got worse, though. When she finally came downstairs, flanked by most of the newsboys, she was wearing trousers, a button up shirt, suspenders, and a cap. Racetrack gaped.

"Uh..." he said. "Now, no offense or nothing, Miss Mary, but... why are you in pants? What happened to your dress?"

She giggled and batted her eyelashes in him. "Well, my fiance beat me so _terribly_ that it was all ripped up!"

"I thought it was your dad who was beating you," he said suspiciously.

"He was... I... I don't feel well..." She put her hand to her brow and passed out daintily.

"Racetrack!" Bumlets yelled at him. "What the hell are you doing, upsetting her like that?" He crouched down and gathered Mary up in his arms. "I'm taking her back to her room and putting her to bed."

Racetrack smirked. "You have fun with that."

Bumlets paused in mid-step. "You take that back, Racetrack." His voice was thick with emotion, and Racetrack was surprised. It wasn't like this was the first time he had made a comment like that, and Bumlets had never been offended before.

In fact, usually Bumlets laughed.

Usually, _everyone_ laughed. He frowned.

"Soak 'im, Bumlets," one of the other newsies yelled.

"Yeah, maybe I will," Bumlets said. "No one talks that way about Princess."

"Princess?" Blink repeated, hurrying to his feet and standing between Blink and Bumlets.

"Yeah, that's what me an' Kloppman started calling her. That a _problem_?"

"No!" Blink said, before Racetrack could open his mouth. "No problem, that's a great nickname. Uh, yeah, you go put her to bed, we gotta go get papes. Right, Race?"

Race threw a dark look at Bumlets and the girl sleeping in his arms. He nodded and followed Blink outside, but could _swear_ he heard an evil chuckle as they stepped out the door.

* * *

Bumlets helped settle his Princess on the bed and tucked her in tightly. Her beautiful hair was spread out among the pillows that he had gathered for her. He gazed at her beauty, still amazed that someone as wondrous as she had come into his life, and filled with rage at whoever it had been that could have hurt her. 

Her eyes fluttered open, and Bumlets gazed at her beautiful sapphire orbs, which were shining and filled with gratitude.

"My knight in shining armor," she murmured, her voice as melodious as silver bells. "I'm so grateful you brought me here."

"I've never met anyone like you," he confessed. "You're so beautiful..."

She smiled and sat up, placed her silk smooth fingers against his coffee and cream skin. "I've never felt like this about anyone before," she said. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

He blinked. "But we only just met," he said.

Her eyes flashed for a moment, then she smiled.

"...So it must be true love," he finished, his deep voice now steady again. Mary leaned forward and kissed him gently.

Bumlets didn't know why he broke the kiss, or even how long they'd been kissing. He stared at the glorious sight of her ruby red lips, and the faint blush that colored her cheeks, and just thought about how lucky he was to have met a girl as beautiful, kind and caring as she was.

All he knew was that he couldn't stand to be separated from her. But the thought of going hungry ate away at him, and he was forced to tear himself away from his love.

"I have to go sell," he said gently, touching her cheek lightly.

"Do you have to?" she asked. "I'm so hungry... I haven't eaten in so long..."

"Did he starve you?" Bumlets asked sincerely.

Mary nodded, her hair pooling around her shoulders delicately. "I'm so afraid that he'll find me, Bumlets. Please don't leave me."

"I have to," Bumlets said. "But you're safe now. No one knows you're here." He kissed her again. "I'll be back by evening, my love. I'll bring you a feast."

"I'm sure you will," she answered. "When you get home... Meet me on the rooftop. I have a surprise for you."

He smiled and she smiled back, her lips full and deep red. They kissed one last time before he finally got up to leave. And he never heard the ominous laugh behind him.

* * *

Bumlets walked out onto the fire escape, with one arm around Princess' waist. He felt so content, and he was willing to do anything to keep it that way. 

"I love you, Princess," he said boldly. "You mean everything to me. I just... I wish that there was something that I could do to make you happy."

"I'm so hungry, Bumlets," Mary Sue purred.

Bumlets was appalled. She had mentioned her hunger earlier, and he hadn't been able to do anything. "What can I get for you?" he asked eagerly.

"Nothing." She sat down on the edge of the roof, her legs crossed and her feet dangling over the edge. "Just sit with me. Hold my hand, darling."

He quickly sat down next to her.

"Tell me that you love me," she said quietly.

"I love you more than anything."

"Would you do anything for me?" she asked.

He nodded sincerely. "Anything."

"Just hold still, dear," she said. "This won't hurt at all."

"What--" he started, but she leaned over and gently kissed his neck. He sighed happily, relaxing, but then felt something odd. A pain where she kissed him. He lifted a hand to try and push her away, but felt too weak. He couldn't resist, he could barely move.

The blood drained from Bumlets's face, and finally, Mary stood up. Her hair was just a bit blonder, now, and her eyes more sparkly. She stretched and wiped her delicate lips with a gentle hand. "That's _so_ much better, darling," she said to the corpse, and started back downstairs.

* * *

Racetrack glared at 'Princess' as she came down the stairs, looking rather full of herself. But then again, every single time he'd seen her, she looked quite full of herself. Stupid girl, coming in and acting like she owned the place or something. 

Princess sat down on the stairs next to him. "Hello, Racetrack," she breathed, smiling at him.

Racetrack smirked. Her teeth were all screwed up. She wasn't nearly as perfect as everyone seemed to think she was.

"Racetrack, I'm so frightened of my father," she said. "I need someone to protect me..."

He frowned. "Hey, wait. You keep changing your story, is it your pop or your fiance who's got you scared?"

She frowned a little bit and looked into his eyes. Her eyes were as blue as the spring sky, and for just a moment he felt dizzy, lost in them--

"Race!" Blink yelled across the room. "You seen Bumlets?"

Race snapped out of it. "Yeah," he said. "Where's Bumlets?"

"Who?" she asked.

"Bumlets. You know, the guy who _brought_ you here. The one who's been following you around like a puppy all day!"

"I've never met anyone named Bumlets," she said. "It was..." She looked around the room and focused on Jake. "Him who brought me here. That one. Uh..."

"Jake?" Racetrack said.

"Yes, Jake. Who I love. Jake!" she called, and he ran to her side. "Racetrack is frightening me..." She put her arms around him, and buried her head in his shoulder.

"Hey, Race, what's the matter, huh?" Jake demanded. "You been acting like a jerk ever since Mary got here. An' she's the best thing that ever happened to this place!"

"Not you too," Racetrack groaned. "Where's Bumlets?" he demanded of Mary again.

Jake stared at him. "Bumlets who?"

Now Racetrack was confused. "Bumlets. Carries around a stick. Good friends with Pie."

Jake turned to Pie Eater. "You ever heard of someone named Bumlets?"

"Bumlets? Can't say that I have," Pie shot back from across the room.

"See, Racetrack?" Princess giggled. "You just got confused." She placed a hand on Jake's arm. "I'm so hungry, Jakey, do you think we could go get something to eat?"

"Of course," Jake was beaming at her. It was sickening.

Race stared around the room incredulously. "You mean none of you guys remember Bumlets? Come on! He's been here for three years, he's got brown hair and he loves to dance. Does any of that ring a bell? Come on!"

Everyone stared at Racetrack, who stared right back. "I remember him," Blink said finally. "Come on, they went up on the roof. Let's go look for him."

Race nodded and wordlessly followed Blink out to the fire escape. "This is really starting to get creepy," Race said. "I mean, okay, I guess if she was hurt real bad maybe Kloppman would let her stay, but all her bruises and cuts are gone! He should send her to the girls' house, right?"

Blink nodded, and they began to climb.

"And," Race continued, "why doesn't anyone know who Bumlets is? That Mary is bad news, and only you and me realize it." He frowned a little and looked up above at where Blink was climbing. All he could really see were the bottom of Blink's boots and Blink's rear end. So there was no reason for his gaze to linger there, but it did.

"Something real weird is going on," he said again.

Blink had reached the roof by this point, and he stopped suddenly.

"Something real weird _is_ going on," he said, his voice shaking. "Look."

Racetrack turned pale as he saw what Blink had been looking at. There, lying on the roof, was Bumlets. Or at least, what remained of him.

His skin was grey. Not pale, just grey. He had aged years, as his skin was now wrinkled.

Racetrack crouched down next to him and gaped. His hair was white. He looked like a skeleton with skin clinging to it, his clothes hanging off loosely. And he was dead.

"She killed him," Race said. "Bumlets is dead... An' no one knows it but us."

"I don't like this, Race," Blink said. "I don't feel safe no more. This ain't funny. Look at him... what did she do?"

"I dunno," Race said. "But we gotta find out. 'Cause no one knows but us... So we gotta save ourselves. We gotta save Jake!" he suddenly realized. "Before he ends up like Bumlets!"

"Yeah," Blink said. "But how do we do that? We don't even know what she did..."

"I dunno," Race said. "But we'd better stick together. No matter what, we gotta keep each other from fallin' under Mary's spell."

Blink nodded, and offered Race a hand up. Race took it, and could feel the calluses on Blink's hand from having handled papers all day every day. He cleared his throat. "Come on, we got work to do," he said, wondering why he could feel himself blushing.

* * *

Racetrack didn't completely understand what was going on, or what he could do to stop it. Every single time Race approached someone to try to talk to them about Mary Sue, he would be dragged away by that thing, and would then disappear. When Racetrack or Blink tried to convince someone that he didn't want to go off alone with her, they just got laughed at. 

And it wasn't that long before the newsies had completely forgotten about a half dozen others.

Jake had disappeared by the next morning, and that night they found Snoddy's body in Mary's room... But no one acknowledged it, just took it out with the trash. Race was disgusted. He asked Pie Eater to try and concentrate, to try and remember Bumlets, but when it looked like he might be coming up with something, Mary walked in. No one had seen Pie since, and no one remembered he'd ever been there.

Swifty and Snitch disappeared the next day. And every day, Mary got more beautiful, kinder, gentler, and sweeter. The boys took her out to Irving Hall, and Medda immediately hired her to be a new singer and dancer. She would walk through muddy roads and not get a single smear on her shoes. Stray animals would come up to her and lick her hands; little kids instinctively called her Sissy and trusted her.

It was disgusting. And everyone went out of their way to keep her happy and do anything she asked--the boys started acting really oddly, but no one noticed. Only Blink and Race seemed immune.

Racetrack watched her as she sat curled up next to Itey, running a hand through his hair. Itey was grinning, and Mary was glowing, in a way that terrified Racetrack and made him feel sick at the same time.

Racetrack turned to Blink, as he had been doing more and more often ever since the girl had arrived. He was surprised to see that Blink was staring at Mary Sue, with the same dazed grin that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence on the other boys' faces. Getting up from where he had been sitting and glaring at Mary, he moved over to Blink, and put a hand on his shoulder.

Blink shook his head slowly, as if he was coming out of a daze, and Racetrack took a seat next to him.

"Blink? You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just... I mean, she's pretty, isn't she? Look at those ringlets."

"She didn't used to have ringlets," Race pointed out. "And did her eyes just change color?"

"Did they?" Blink stared at her some more, and Race could see that her eyes _did_ change color, but more importantly, Blink's started to glaze over. Mary seemed to feel his gaze, and she turned and winked at Blink. He sighed.

"Snap out of it, Blink," Race mumbled. "She's evil."

"She's an _angel_," Blink said, a dreamy quality entering his voice.

"Snap out of it," Racetrack said sharply, waving a hand in front of Blink's eyes, trying to break Blink's concentration on the girl. His other hand grabbed for Blink's, their fingers interlacing before he even realized exactly what it was that he was doing.

Blink squeezed his hand, the slight pressure causing Racetrack's heart to leap, even if he didn't realize exactly what was causing it.

Blink blinked, and turned to Racetrack. His eyes were back to normal. "Race?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"You can let go of my hand now."

Race looked down at their joined hands and swallowed guiltily. "Uh, yeah." He let go of Blink's hand, and Mary winked again. Blink's eye glazed again. Race took his hand, and Blink went back to normal. Experimentally, Race let go; Blink's eye glazed over.

"Weird," he said, and took Blink's hand. He intertwined his fingers and gave it a squeeze, and Blink smiled over at him. "Let's get outta here, Blink," he said. "I'm starting to get an idea."


	2. Chapter 2

Immediately upon leaving the lodging house, Racetrack dropped Blink's hand, completely terrified of exactly what had happened. He kept walking, and Blink followed him, not saying a word. When they finally reached a distance that Racetrack thought was safely far away from the lodging house, he turned to Blink.

"So," he said flatly, trying to contain the conflicting emotions he was feeling. "We should, you know, um," he trailed off, not sure how to say what it was he was feeling.

"You were holding my hand," Blink said, sounding confused. Well. More confused then normal.

"Uh... yeah," Race said. "I didn't mean to. It just seemed to distract her."

Blink made a face. "If you say so," he said. "I mean... I guess. Did it?"

"Well, you were all hypnotized looking until you I did and then you were fine, so..." Race shrugged. "I dunno? Sorry. I won't anymore."

"No, it's okay," Blink said. "I mean, not okay, I mean... I didn't _like_ it," he said. "I didn't _mind_, though. It's better than being sucked dry by that freak."

"Yeah," Racetrack said. "But at least now we know what will keep her away from us. Just in case, you know, we have to do it again." Racetrack wasn't sure why the prospect of holding Blink's hand again was making his heart beat just a little bit faster. "So," he continued, trying to bring his thoughts back under control. "We should go talk to Spot, and Brooklyn. Mary has taken over the lodging house, and we're going to need help."

Blink nodded. "I don't get it," he said. "She's like... she's so beautiful she's not attractive, she's just creepy. Maybe she's not even human. Maybe she's from another planet."

"I don't think so," Race said.

"Well, she ain't human!" Blink insisted. "Humans don't suck people's guts out or make 'em forget their friends." Blink looked over at Race suddenly, a little nervous. "Uh, Race... if something happens..."

"Blink?"

"You won't forget me, will you? Like Pie forgot Bumlets..."

"'Course not," Race said. "And nothing's gonna happen."

"What are we gonna tell Spot?" Blink asked hesitantly.

"Well, we can't tell him she's from another planet, he'll laugh us outta Brooklyn," Race replied after a moment's thought.

"Then... what are we going to do?" Blink repeated.

Racetrack sighed. How had he gotten stuck being the brains of the operation? "We go back in," he said finally. "And we watch her. We know how to stop her, so we can keep her from hurting any of the others."

"You mean we gotta hold hands with the other guys if she starts in on 'em?" Blink asked. "'Cause... I mean, it's one thing with _you_ an' all, but, uh, the other guys... They maybe ain't so understanding."

"Yeah, but we can't let 'em _die_," Race said. "I mean..."

"Yeah," Blink agreed. "Okay. So let's go in. I'm ready." He took a deep breath. "We'll be okay, right?"

"Yeah," Race said, as they walked in. and in the front room, there was a card game going on. Mary was dealing, with Specs, Dutchy, Jack, and Skittery playing.

"Hello, boys," Mary Sue said, smiling brightly, the slight point to her teeth being the only thing that upset her otherwise perfect smile. "Why don't you join us? The other boys have been telling me how much you love cards."

"She's as good as you are, Race," Skittery said glumly. "Princess here's been cleaning us out all night. I mean, I don't mind or nothin'." He shot her a quick smile, which became wider at her beam of approval.

Racetrack glared at her. There was no way this girl could beat him at cards. "Deal me in," he said firmly.

This was a matter of honor, after all.

Race sat down and cracked his knuckles. He watched her deal the cards, and had to admit that she seemed to know what she was doing. She didn't look down at her hands the whole time, just have him that steady, irritating smile. And every time he almost started to think the smile was just a _little_ bit pretty, he looked over at Blink.

Blink smiled back at him encouraging, and he snapped out of it. Every time. So, as the hand really began, he was feeling a bit better. And his cards... Well, they weren't great, but they weren't bad. He could work with them.

Racetrack did his best to keep himself from showing any emotion. He knew that he had a good poker face, one of the best. It made him excellent at bluffing, and adding that to the amount of cheating that he did, it was why he was so good at poker.

But still, he had to admit that Mary was pretty good at poker. But there was no way that he would lose to her.

"Gosh, Racetrack," she said demurely, "you sure are good."

"Yes, I know," he answered, and looked smug. Smug enough that he risked a glance directly at her, into her eyes... Her deep, perfect, beautiful blue eyes...

Blink's hand landed on his shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze. He let out a breath. That was a little better... Yes, definitely.

"You okay?" Blink asked, leaning over to whisper in his ear.

Well. He had been until he felt Blink's breath on his ear. He swallowed hard. "Fine," he mumbled quickly. "Yeah, fine."

"Where'd you learn to play poker, Mary?" Race asked, trying to regain his composure.

Mary teared up, and placed a hand on her forehead. "My mother, you know," she said, her voice filled with emotion. "She took me to live with my uncle, and he spent hours gambling. And then when his debts ran up too high, they wanted me to…" her voice trailed off, and one of the other boys patted her shoulder gently.

"To what?" Blink asked. Race grinned to himself a little bit; Blink's lack of subtlety could be endearing.

"To do horrible things," she said. "I... I can't think about it..."

"You think she's gonna faint again?" Race mumbled.

Blink laughed. "What do you mean, horrible things?"

"Blink!" Jack snapped. "They made her... you know... do things at night."

"Night? When did you sleep then?"

"Blink!" Jack sounded kind of strangled. "That ain't the point. They made her do, you know, _those_ things. That people do. At night."

"Oh." Blink paused, thinking about it. "_Oh_."

"I thought you were running from your fiance," Racetrack said suspiciously.

Mary Sue pouted demurely. "He was one of... one of..."

Jack glared at Race. "You know, I know you cheat, but this is low, even for you. Just play the damn game."

"Sure," Racetrack smirked. "Call."

He laid his cards down on the table.

Mary smiled and did the same, as did the others. Only she and Racetrack had cards worth looking at, though; Racetrack had a flush with spades, and it included a King. Not a bad hand at all. Mary, however, had a full house; it was all low cards, but still beat his flush. He stared.

"Oh, tough break," she said, and batted her eyelashes.

He chewed on his lip for a moment, before saying, "You cheated."

"I did not! How... How dare you dare you?" Her big eyes glistened with what looked like tears. "After all I've been through..."

"Yeah, Race, how dare you?"

"I'll bet you anything she did," he mumbled. "Come on, deal the cards and I'll prove it."

She smiled winningly at him, and Racetrack felt something, but Blink placed a hand on his shoulder, and he steeled himself against her wiles. He was not going to let her win.

"So your uncle taught you how to play?"

"I... it's too hard to talk about, Racetrack," Mary said, lowering her eyes. "But yes, my brother did teach me how, in between..." her voice caught, and she looked up at Jack for protection.

"What's it matter where she learned to play, huh?" Jack demanded. "She's better than you!"

Racetrack opened his mouth to snarl something, but Mary cut him off. "Oh, don't say that... How could I ever be as good as Racetrack?" She smiled at him again, batting her eyelashes. Her long, gorgeous, thick...

Blink gave Race's shoulder a squeeze again, from where he was sitting at Race's side. Race tried to get himself back under control, but those _eyes_ were just…

Blink ran his finger down the length of Race's arm to his elbow. The world came back into focus. Race shot Blink a grateful look, and Blink winked at him.

Racetrack called again, and this time his cards beat out Mary's, but just barely. He smirked triumphantly. But as Race watched, Mary's cards flickered slightly, and instead of the two pair she had before, it was a full house again.

Racetrack reached for Blink's hand, not even realizing what he was doing, and as soon as he felt the warm, callused hand against his own, the cards flickered back to what they had been. Well that was definitely weird.

"I guess I won this round, Mary," he said.

She actually looked a little surprised herself. "I... I guess you did." She paused, then looked at the other newsies at the table, and sniffled obviously. "My... my fiance, he used to... when I beat him at cards, he'd beat me so badly... I always had to pretend to lose, no matter what."

"Race, you're makin' her feel bad!"

"I am not!" he yelped. "I was just playing cards like always!"

"Ain't what it seems like to me. Why you always gotta be so mean to Princes, huh? Ain't she had it hard enough?"

"All I did was play poker!" Racetrack protested, and Blink squeezed his hand.

"You shouldn't play with us anymore, Race" Dutchy said. "You're just ruining everything."

"What?" Racetrack protested. "I've been playing with you guys for years."

"Well, maybe we don't want to play no more," Specs added, standing up angrily.

To Race's surprise, Blink stood up too, very abruptly. "Fine," he snapped. "Race doesn't want to play with you no more anyways." He yanked Race's arm to pull him up. "Right?"

Race really didn't know what the hell Blink was doing, but he didn't think arguing was a great idea, either. The longer he played cards with Mary, the harder it was getting to keep his head together.

"Uh, yeah!" Race yelled. "Bye!"

Blink dragged him outside, slammed the door behind them, and all the way down the block and into an alley.

"Um, Blink, what's—"

But Blink pushed him against a wall and kissed him.

"Blink!" Race started, pushing Blink away. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"If you don't know, I ain't doing a good job of it, am I?" Blink answered, and gave Race a grin. And for a second, Race had that same fuzzy feeling he got when he looked into Mary's eyes, like the world was losing focus around him. But the difference was, when Blink was smiling at him, it felt right. It felt warm.

"Oh. Okay, then," Race agreed, and wrapped his arms around Blink's shoulders.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, they were sharing a cigarette, sitting against a rough brick wall. They'd really only stopped kissing because Race was pretty sure if they kept it up, he was going to want to do something _else,_ and, well… He just didn't know what the hell any of it meant. Blink didn't seem to mind, though.

Actually, Blink seemed kind of smug.

"So…" Blink finally said slowly. "Um. About that kissing thing we just did? You liked it, didn't you?"

"Yeah!" Racetrack said immediately, then realized he sounded a tiny bit too eager. "I mean... it was... I don't know. I ain't queer, or nothing."

"Sure," Blink nodded. "Me neither."

"Right. Absolutely not."

"Right."

There was a long pause, and finally Racetrack looked over at Blink, who shrugged.

"Okay, I am," Blink said.

"Yeah, me too." Race nodded. "I didn't want to say so, or nothing. I never knew you was..."

"Race," Blink said, grinning a little. "I felt the exact same! I didn't know no one else around here was queer... let alone _you_..."

"Wow," Race said. "That's really... convenient."

"Let's not think too hard about it."

"That's like your motto or something, ain't it?"

"You calling me dumb?" Blink demanded, sounding a little offended.

"Yeah," Racetrack said. "But it's kinda sweet."

"Hey. I was the one who figured out to kiss you an' all. If I'd left it to you, you'd still be playin' cards inside."

Race smiled. "Okay, so I'm the brains and you're the…heart," he said. "Yeah?"

Blink shrugged. "I dunno what that means," he said. "But I'm gonna kiss you again, okay?"

"Fine by me."

* * *

"So, what do we do now?" Blink asked.

This time, Race was pretty sure they were really done kissing. They had problems to solve, after all, and murders to prevent. "What, you ain't tired yet?"

Blink laughed. "No, I'm... I meant about Mary."

Race sighed. "I don't know. She's scary. And we can't always run away from her and... and... And kiss for an hour."

"Well, we could," Blink said. "It was fun."

"Well, yeah. But people are dying! I don't want our friends to die."

"Well, I ain't kissin' them like we been kissin'," Blink said defensively. "I mean, what are the odds that every guy in the lodgin' house is queer?"

Race considered that for a second, then shook his head. Something else he decided it was easier to not think about. "But we have to stop Mary from killing anyone else."

"Oh," Blink nodded. "We should... we should go back in then. Make sure everyone's okay."

Race nodded, and grabbed Blink's hand and pulled him toward the lodging house. As they reached the door, he let go of Blink's hand. There was shouting coming from inside. It sounded like a fight had broken out.

Race pushed the door open in time to see Specs with Dutchy in a headlock, punching him in the stomach. He stared, and gaped, and took a deep breath. "If I can't have her," he yelled, "_nobody will!_"

Dutchy 's response was to stomp on his foot and elbow him in the stomach. Specs let go, inhaling sharply, and Dutchy took the moment to swing around and hit in him the jaw.

"Boys!" Mary cried from the sidelines. "Don't do this!"

Her hands were clasped in front of her, and Racetrack couldn't tell whether it was because she was praying for them to stop or because she was secretly delighted to have two boys fighting over her like that.

Specs had managed to get back on his feet, and he lunged after Dutchy, who managed to step aside and push him toward the stairs, where he collided with Skittery, who took the opportunity to push Specs back towards Dutchy.

"No, boys, don't!" she shrieked delicately. "Please!"

"Look!" Specs yelled, pulling away from Dutchy for a moment. "You have to choose one of us!"

"But how can I?" she asked. "Specs, you're so strong and handsome and rugged--"

"He is?" Blink asked Race.

"--and Dutchy, you're so sweet and kind and gentle. How can I choose between the two?"

"Like this," Race said casually. "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo--"

"Race, stay outta this!" Dutchy and Specs yelled in unison.

Specs turned to Dutchy. "You low-down, yellow, rat-bas—"

"Oh, _no!_" Mary wailed. "All this fighting, it…it reminds me of my uncle…" She put a hand to her brow and slumped daintily to the floor. An instant later, both boys were at her side.

"That's disgusting," Race said, but no one heard him.

And he wasn't surprised when, the next morning, Specs and Dutchy had both vanished – and Mary Sue was more radiant than ever.

**AN: So. Um. It's been a year, huh? Well, you know, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, and whatnot. I'd say we'll try and be more timely, but I'd probably be lying. (It wouldn't have taken so long if we hadn't had to edit out some, ehrm, naughty bits in order to keep it ratings appropriate, and on plot target...stupid plot.) Anyway, thanks for waiting, and thanks to everyone who voted for us in Stress's fanfic contest. :)**


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